Our first anniversary of Lu's death. I woke up to so many kind messages from my facebook world. I worried that it might be too public and annoy people but in this modern age it is hard to figure out how to mark this day.
If I were Orthodox Jewish we might be revealing the gravestone.
We still have her "ashes" on her dresser in a beautiful stone box that the man at the cremation gave to us. A discontinued line he said. Would we want it?
So it is sitting next to her photographs and birthday cards and all the sympathy letters that we received.
It is next to the tiny notebooks where all of her food and medicine intake was written down. How many times did she have her 'the Vest' treatments. A vest that was hooked up to a machine that would shake her lungs and keep them free from too much mucous. It was a brilliant design for children with Cystic Fibrosis and sometimes kids like Lu needed it.
Yesterday I checked through all her notes again. What had happened in those last 2 days?
Nobody knew. She was uncomfortable. I had seen her on Skype and I was fearful. A low fever. She was hours away from seeing her doctors. Hours away from seeing me.
The Little Mermaid is playing right now.
We will listen to all her music and watch some of her favorite movies and share a meal with a couple of very close friends who knew Lu very well.
The candles are lit.
We talk to her and ask her to visit or at least save us a good spot where she is.