I have been begging my subconscious to please let me dream about Lueza. I would like to stop having anxiety dreams about losing phones or getting lost in strange cities and I would very much like to spend some time with my daughter in my dreams.
The first dream was hard to remember but had something to do with suctioning out her "trach" and all the virulent looking fluid that poured out into the suction catheter.
About 5 days later I dreamed that I was cleaning and cutting her nails with my nails and I accidentally tore off a little piece of her skin on a finger and made her sob. There was blood. And extreme guilt.