Being Home

Talked with one of Lu's former nurses. She had heard about everything from another Mom. She had recently lost her nephew so we discussed good books about grief. Mentioned Lueza's tracheostomy supplies that were still in her bedroom and thankfully she said that they would be happy to take them all because of the medical missionary work that some of the doctors do.
Went down to 730 Welch road in Palo Alto to the clinics.
Brought my younger daughter.
Two giant bags of supplies that will end up in a very poor country.
We always had so much help.
Let the Pulmonary office know that we were there.
Much hugging. No tears.
Huge gratitude for what they did.
Don't think that I will ever get over my love for them.
I guess they're used to that.
I still need to have the "talk".
What might have happened that dawn.
How could she die so suddenly.
The day I was coming home.
Some dreadful stealthy infection.

So I'm in her room a lot.
Looking at her little polar fleece tops.
Her sweaters from last Christmas.
Tiny Uggs.

Guadalupe on the wall.
Photo of Patrick Dempsey with the computer generated fake tattoo of Lu on his arm.
The original mermaid painting by Flor Larios that I found on Etsy.

And now off to my dentist.

This life we live.