My 3 week leave of absence from this big wonderful traveling tour begins on Monday morning. My friends will be flying and driving to Winnipeg and I will be flying home.
It will be the first time I'm home since Lueza's death and cremation and funeral.
It just hit me last night that I'm stuffed full of anxiety and sadness in addition to the overwhelming joy at being able to see my younger daughter and husband. And dogs. Two big dogs that will trample me with love.
Lueza's room is there. Her futon. Her movies. Her music.
Blessings for her life.
Hi Jodi,
ReplyDeleteI happened upon your note to Jennifer on her Yes or No blog, and felt compelled to check out your own.
I lost my son Shane in March of 2009. He was 17 and also lived with multiple challenges...but unending joy and spirit! My own journey is documented on my blog at http://music-writer.blogspot.com/ . The journal's original intention was to focus on my music and what I was doing there...but over the past two years it has become a place to write through the journey of loss, and certainly a tool that has helped me to continue moving forward through that. I have been very lazy at it since February...but maybe that's a good sign that I am needing that outlet less...I don't know.
If you would ever find it helpful to connect with another who is alongside you I hope you'll feel free to contact me at lynda@musicwriter.ca
Everyone experiences grief and goes through these losses I know...but I do believe it's a little different for those of us that whose children were so vulnerable...all that we had to give of ourselves for their very existence leaves an unimaginable void
Do take care,
Sincerely
Lynda
I have a lump in my throat reading this -- and Lueza's smile in my mind and heart.
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